An excerpt from the uber-sensitive timeline over at National Lampoon:
September 21, 1939 - Heydrich orders the Gestapo to round up all Polish Jews into ghettos near railway stations in preparation for the final solution - "that glorious day when we will buy nothing from their accursed race!" Only hours after issuing his orders, however, the ever-duplicitous Heydrich gets a very nice deal on a watch.August 1, 1940 - Heydrich's watch turns out not to be self-winding. The Nazis choose Auschwitz as the site of a new concentration camp.
June 14, 1940 - Paris is occupied by the Nazis. The French resist like nobody's business - going so far as to sell the Nazis inferior wines at exorbitant prices. Throughout the occupation, the resistance movement continually flouts Nazi boycotts, buying jaunty berets from a man named Goldblum, despite the obvious dangers of boycott-breaking.
July 8, 1940 - Hitler orders that no one use Jewish lawyers.
July 9, 1940 - The courts close.
Comments