Tom McMahon

Cheesehead Confusion: Nietzsche or Nitschke?

 

Insensitivity Cards

YPL's Insensitivity Cards

We all know how difficult it can be to find a greeting card with genuine candor. If you've faced this dilemma (and who hasn't?) YPL's Insensitivity Cards are the perfect solution. Our wide selection allows you to mock the unhappy circumstances, embarrassing failures, and painful experiences of a friend or relative, and to share that derision with almost anyone on planet Earth through the wonders of email. This is a free YPL service, and YPL will not donate even one single red cent to any candy-ass, bleeding-heart liberal charities including but not limited to: preservation of habitats and/or wildlife, AIDS and/or cancer patients, starving peasants, Appalachian hillbillies, and missing rugrats.

The Michigan Accent Pronunciation Guide

From Eric Weaver:

Remember the movie PeeWee's Big Adventure? Most folks from Michigan were watching that movie thinking, "damn, that Larrge Marrge sounds just like my nexdoor neighberr when I was growin' up." It was the worst accent... I ever seeeeeen.

A Handy List Of Some Of The Greatest Movies Ever Made

At-A-Glance Film Reviews

Will You Go Home And Use That Gray Matter You’ve Got Up There For Something Positive?

From an interview with television game show legend Betty White:

TVGS: Betty, we'd be remiss if we didn't ask your take on today's so-called "reality" game shows which do not exactly celebrate healthy, positive competition or the human spirit.

BETTY: Oh my! I can’t even discuss them and keep it where you could print it. I think it’s gotten so ridiculous. You see these things and you want to say to people, will you go home and use that gray matter you’ve got up there for something positive? We've reached a point where we want to see how much we can embarrass people, how we can cheat---and that's a simple way of saying it---and how we can stretch things to really hurt the other person. There's one like Jackass where they do dangerous things and you're already hearing of people at home being hurt because they're trying to copy what they see. Oh, yes, these shows send out such "wonderful" message. I better stop right there before you have to edit me out. When I was doing most of my shows, the whole family could watch. Now, parents have to take a stand. Parents should be in the permission or the no permission business. When you discover some of the things your children are watching, you better be looking for more positive alternatives. The problem is when parents don't pay attention.

Wavy Flags From All Countries

But When I Try An Irish Accent, I Sound Like The Lucky Charms Leprechaun

Accents add heft or yuks:

For movie stars, doing accents always has been a kind of parlor trick, a feat of conjuration that can have about as much to do with breathing life into a character as pulling a rabbit out of a hat.

Nowadays, how a line is delivered is almost as important as what it actually means. As globalization has swept the movie multiplex, on any given screen you can find Sir Ben Kingsley in "The House of Sand and Fog" playing an Iranian; New Yorkers Liv Tyler and Viggo Mortensen playing Elves in "The Return of the King" who speak, unaccountably, with English accents; and half a dozen of Britain's finest actors pretending to be sons and daughters of the American Confederacy in "Cold Mountain."

Before the 1960s, it was rare to hear an American movie star speak with an accent more distinctive than Henry Fonda's Nebraska drawl. A wave of young directors who grew up outside the Hollywood studio system began to place a greater emphasis on naturalism; soon the Duke -- everybody's all-American -- was out and the souk was in.

The Case for Cannibalism

If everything is permissible between consenting adults, why not?

Simpsons Posters: 57 Varieties

AllPosters.com

The Dialectizer

The Dialectizer takes text or other web pages and instantly creates parodies of them! Try it out by selecting a dialect, then entering a URL. Use these hot links to browse this site in Redneck, Jive, Cockney, Elmer Fudd, Swedish Chef, Moron, Pig Latin, or Hacker.