When Critical Situations Become Crises

An excerpt from the old-time radio program Leiningen Versus the Ants :

COMMISSIONER (shouts over hoofbeats) Leiningen!

LEININGEN: Huh?

COMMISSIONER: I didn't see any women or children around the plantation. Or any animals.

LEININGEN: That's right. Moved them across the river.

COMMISSIONER: Oh, ho! You think there _is_ danger?

LEININGEN: Oh, not because of danger, Commissioner. A matter of efficiency.

COMMISSIONER: Efficiency?

LEININGEN: Cuts down the efficiency of the men if they're worried about their families. Critical situations only become crises when oxen or women get excited.

COMMISSIONER: I might've known.

LEININGEN: Eh?

COMMISSIONER: Nothing.

They don't write 'em like that anymore, eh? 

Comments

[cheap coach bags]

Feeling and not fraud, but it will determine.

[Jorge Curioso]

Great stuff!

The movie's not bad, either, with Charlton Heston, the gorgeous (and gorgeously-dressed) Eleanor Parker, and William Conrad (reprising his radio role?).

[Terry]

That is one of my favorite short stories. When I was a kid I used to have a paperback collection of adventure stories that had "The Most Dangerous Game" and "Lenigan Versus the Ants" in it, I read it until it fell apart.

The best part is when Lenigan pours gasoline in the irrigation ditch, dives in and lights it, then swims under the burning gas to clear water. I think every action movie ever made stole at least one sequence from either of those two books.