Oregon and New Jersey: The Only Two States That Require Gas Station Attendants To Pump Your Gas

From dumblaws.com:

Oregon and New Jersey are the only two states in the United States that require attendants to pump gas at gas stations. There are many arguments for it, but many are not very well substantiated. It is claimed that it should not matter because gas prices are lower in these two states. Insurance costs for gas stations go down slightly if a "qualified attendant" is pumping the gas, but they must also pay for the cost of hiring an extra worker. Combined with varying taxes on gasoline between states, its true affect on gas price is anyone's guess.

It is also claimed that having your own gas pumped for you is superior because drivers don't have to brave the elements and fiddle with the gas pump and their gas cap. With the exception of a few elderly and disabled persons, most people are perfectly capable of getting out of their car in a covered area for five minutes and place a nozzle in their gas tank. Another argument is that by forcing consumers to go to gas stations with attendents, it helps out the job market. Opponents argue that employing these people is merely a waste of money, and if jobs are needed, other opportunities could easily be created (i.e. city beatification). Regardless of the truth behind the matter, Oregon and New Jersey are keeping this law on the books and fully enforcing it.

All of which leads to an odd situation:

Let's review the legal status of various self-administered tasks in Oregon.

Self-serve suicide (with a doctor's assistance): OK.

Self-service gasoline: Nope.

Wait, it gets better. From Wikipedia:

In both New Jersey and Oregon, it is legal for customers to pump their own diesel (although not every station permits diesel customers to do so; truck stops typically do). The intent of the Oregon Law is that diesel is not as flammable, and therefore poses less of a hazard to Oregon citizens.

But how does this all work in practice? Adam Schaeffer:

I sat in the car, aching, pondering the four-hour drive ahead while watching a long-lost, slow-motion play written by Kafka unfold in the warm failing light of an approaching summer's eve. Left-side gas-pump lines were many cars deep and right-sided ones were nearly empty. Sullen attendants shuffled unhurriedly from car-window to pump to register kiosk to car window and on again while men and women and families sat trapped, bladders full, in their tiny metal boxes. And I came unglued. My tongue lashed forth in a torrent of obscenity-laced policy proposals and cruel punishment suggestions for all those responsible. My poor fiancé, concern and a hint of fear in her eyes, endured the high-volume tirade. I am ashamed to admit I participated in some Jersey-bashing. I like New Jerseyians — some of my best friends are New Jerseyians. But New Jersey has gone completely sideways when it comes to gas stations.

It took a full 25 minutes to get our gas and get on our way. I estimate that it took at least twice as long as it does in sane States for each car to rotate through. And that doesn't count the wasted pumps at the under-utilized right-side stations. A moment in a small service station encapsulated the problem with liberal solutions and mucking-about in the economy. Here was a small sample of 20,000 government-mandated "jobs" performed by people who would have better served the economy if they simply sat there and allowed motorists to pump their own gas. Flushing the salary of all 20,000 attendants down the drain would have been a net improvement for the economy. Instead, gas stations in the Garden State are made to raise prices to pay people to waste other people's money, time, and patience.

The system is so unnecessary, so arbitrary, so rigid, so irrational, illogical, and infuriating...so like the government and so sadly unsurprising. It would have been a great lesson for children. So for your next educational fieldtrip with the kids, you can take them to New Jersey and let them see government regulation in all of its glory. But in the meantime I will make a futile request: Please, New Jersey, let me pump my own gas.

(Hat tip on this post to my brother Tim, my favorite Oregon liberal.)