North Korean Scientists Invent Super High-Calorie Ramen Noodle

From Matthew Firestone:

In a failed state that does not produce enough food to feed its population, and is largely reliant on food aid provided by foreign donors, the invention of a super high-calorie noodle is indeed cause for celebration. According to a recent article in the Choson Shinbo, a Japan-based, pro-Pyongyang newspaper, North Korean scientists have created a new type of noodle that has twice as much protein and fives times as much fat as ordinary ramen.

Made largely of corn and soybean, the new noodles are an engineering breakthrough in their ability to leave people feeling fuller, longer. The paper also reports that the new super high-calorie noodles are specially designed to delay feelings of hunger. This culinary achievement is being hailed as further evidence of the mighty and divine power of Kim Il-sung, the deceased 'eternal ruler' of the Democratic People's Republic of North Korea (DPRK).