Tom McMahon

Jimmy Crack Corn: The Movie

Actually, a whole movie franchise:

• Jimmy Crack Corn I: The Master Goes Away
• Jimmy Crack Corn II: Return of The Master
• Jimmy Crack Corn III: The Secret of the Bottle
• Jimmy Crack Corn IV: Revenge of the Blue-Tail Fly
• Jimmy Crack Corn V: Assignment: Miami Beach
• Jimmy Crack Corn VI: Seed of Jimmy

What Helicopters Do In Action Movies

What Helicopters Do In Action Movies

Superman About To Use His X-ray Vision

Superman About To Use His X-ray Vision

Clifton James, The New York City Born Character Actor Who Made A Living Playing Stereotypical Fat Redneck Southern Sheriffs

Clifton James, The New York City Born Character Actor Who Made A Living Playing Stereotypical Fat Redneck Southern Sheriffs

[On redneck sheriffs] I noticed they love their stomachs. They stick them out, they're really proud of their stomachs.

A couple of facts about Clifton James:

• James is a decorated World War II veteran. His decorations include: Silver Star, Bronze Star, Purple Heart, Presidential Citation, Combat Infantry Badge and Six Battle Stars.
• James is a graduate of the University of Oregon.
• Not to be confused with M.E. Clifton James (1898 - 8 May 1963), an actor and soldier notable for his resemblance to Field Marshal Bernard Montgomery. This was used by British intelligence as part of a deception campaign in 1944.

Clifton James as Carr The Floor Walker in Cool Hand Luke

His speech to the prisoners:

Carr: Any man playing grabass or fightin' in the building spends a night in the box.

Carr: Them clothes got laundry numbers on them. You remember your number and always wear the ones that has your number. Any man forgets his number spends a night in the box. These here spoons you keep with you. Any man loses his spoon spends a night in the box. There's no playing grab-ass or fighting in the building. You got a grudge against another man, you fight him Saturday afternoon. Any man playing grab-ass or fighting in the building spends a night in the box. First bell's at five minutes of eight when you will get in your bunk. Last bell is at eight. Any man not in his bunk at eight spends the night in the box. There is no smoking in the prone position in bed. To smoke you must have both legs over the side of your bunk. Any man caught smoking in the prone position in bed... spends a night in the box. You get two sheets. Every Saturday, you put the clean sheet on the top... the top sheet on the bottom... and the bottom sheet you turn in to the laundry boy. Any man turns in the wrong sheet spends a night in the box. No one'll sit in the bunks with dirty pants on. Any man with dirty pants on sitting on the bunks spends a night in the box. Any man don't bring back his empty pop bottle spends a night in the box. Any man loud talking spends a night in the box. You got questions, you come to me. I'm Carr, the floor walker. I'm responsible for order in here. Any man don't keep order spends a night in...

Luke: ...the box.

Carr: I hope you ain't going to be a hard case.

Release the Kraken!

Release the Kraken!

Oh, you were thinking this too . . .

Character Actor Jack Lambert

Character Actor Jack Lambert

RIP Peter Graves

RIP Peter Graves

Get more great screen shots at MovieScreenShots. Peter Graves' IMDB entry.

Grizzly Man Timothy Treadwell Was A Perfect Liberal

An excerpt from Leo Grin:

Timothy Treadwell loved bears. In the name of loving them, with a stalwart sense of the innate sanctity of his mission, he continuously abused them for thirteen years. Time and again from 1989 until 2003 he invaded their territory — startling them, scaring them, angering them. Interrupting their hunting, their mating, their sleep, their play, he would coo sweet nothings at them in a flamboyant, high-pitched whine. He gave the savage beasts silly names like Lulu, Cupcake, Daisy, Ginger, Booble, and Mr. Chocolate, robbing them of their natural dignity. He firmly believed he was their protector, and unleashed torrents of self-righteous hatred upon anyone who dared question his treating of one-thousand-pound predators as if they were cute cuddly teddy bears. Handsome and charismatic, yet narcissistic and naïve, filled with honest caring, yet a smooth liar thoroughly at home in delusion, he became a constant danger both to himself and to everything he loved, ever on the verge of instigating a sudden volcanic eruption of nightmarish unintended consequences.

In short, Timothy Treadwell was a perfect liberal. He loved bears, with all his heart.

And then one ate him.

When Did Roger Ebert Become Such An A-Hole?

John Nolte:

Ebert’s seen a lot of films but obviously hasn’t learned very much from them. When he disappeared into the hospital for all those months, those of us who disagreed with his politics put those meaningless differences aside as we worried and prayed for the robust return of the thumb that had become such a part of our lives. But who would’ve guessed he wouldn’t come out of his near-death experience like the movies taught him to: as a kinder, more understanding, more tolerant and patient man with a new appreciation for the simple and human things in life? No, he went the opposite way and the story of Roger Ebert’s life will now look as though the projectionist got the reels for “Regarding Henry” confused.

It’s been extraordinary to watch this once beloved critic squander all the universal affection and goodwill he had built up over a lifetime in just a few short months. And over nothing. No one bad-mouthed his mother or rang his doorbell and ran. We disagree on the size and scope of the federal government. We disagree over the idea that increased government control will improve our health care. We’re not as enamored as he is with the man currently occupying the Oval Office. Disagree, argue, that’s all fine. But he’s calling us “teabaggers,” and he knows full well what that means. And he’s calling us “teabaggers” because he doesn’t have the guts to come right out and call us “c***suckers.”

Cotton Watts, The Last Blackface

Cotton Watts, The Last Blackface

Note that date on the bottom: 1967! This fellow actually saw Watts in action:

I saw Watts by default. A friend of mine, a stripper, had taken me to see a competitor. We had left in an aesthetic huff (hers, not mine) when the performer came onstage and proceeded to remove her long white gloves. "Amateur! F*cking amateur!" hissed my companion. "Any professional knows you take the gloves off last. When they see your arms, the show's over." So we had wandered around the block and into another club to watch the aging Watts gamely fend off hecklers, armed with nothing but material at least fifty years old ("I thought I told you to stay in the truck!").

Writer Ken Brooks gives us a little perspective on Watts:

The best that can be said of Cotton Watts, the Florida Panhandle's last professional blackface entertainer, is that he was the product of an unenlightened age. From 1947 to 1959, Watts was a staple of Panama City Beach summer nightlife, appearing at both the 98 Club and the near-by Surf-and-Sand Club. Watts, a white entertainer, would perform parodies of the traditional songs, dances, and speech patterns of southern rural African-Americans, his face darkened with burnt cork.

Watts' career dated to the 1920s when he and Bud Davis formed a blackface duo that toured the nation's leading vaudeville circuits. It was Davis, manager of Panama City's Ritz Theater, who brought Watts to town. Watts performed three shows nightly, with his wife Chick--also in blackface--acting as mistress of ceremonies.

You can watch Cotton Watts for yourself on the internet. He shows up for about two minutes in Ed Wood's 1954 film Jail Bait:

Cotton Watts in Jail Bait

A quick review of those two minutes:

There is one scene i can't forget to mention... about 15 minutes or so in the movie, it cuts to a minstrel show with one of the most hilariously racist characters i've ever seen named Cotton Watts. But this scene is unrelated to anything before or after, and this comical scene is in stark contrast to the deadly serious mood of the rest of the movie. No one mentions it at any point of the film. It's like it's a scene from another movie, that was accidentally added in.

Cotton Watts passed away on March 5, 1968.