Tom McMahon

My List Of The Five Most Famous Cartoon Chipmunks, Plus My Choice For The Most Successful One-Term President

1. Alvin
2. Simon
3. Theodore
4. James K. Polk
5. Chip
6. Dale

Can You Construct A Sentence Using All Top Ten Most Irritating Phrases?

The top 10 irritating expressions compiled by researchers at Oxford University:

1. At the end of the day
2. Fairly unique
3. I personally
4. At this moment in time
5. With all due respect
6. Absolutely
7. It's a nightmare
8. Shouldn't of
9. 24/7
10. It's not rocket science

Use two sentences if you have to.Make it sound like something you'd hear at work.

Five Bits Of Wisdom From The J-Walk Blog

• The trick is to stop thinking it is 'your' money. - IRS auditor
• Information deteriorates upward through bureaucracies.
• The organization of any program reflects the organization of the people who developed it.
• The stomach expands to accommodate the amount of junk food available.
• The repairman will never have seen a model quite like yours before. 

You can find these at the bottom of the page. Refresh the page to get a new one.

My List Of Five Show-Biz Types I Used To Love But Now Can't Stand, Plus My Favorite Dead Actor From The Police Academy Movies

My list:

1. Robin Williams
2. M*A*S*H
3. Bob Seger
4. WKLH-FM (The "Classic Rock" Station in Milwaukee)
5. Cartoon Network

While Debralee Scott would be a solid choice from that Police Academy in the sky, I'd have to go with David Graf. Our son Ryan never fails to laugh when Eugene Tackleberry shows up on the screen.

Go ahead and add your list, but with this one limit: Every entertainer on your list has to make you sick because of their act, not their politics. So if you just loved the Dixie Chicks until they got all political, just leave them off your list.

Rank Them By Their Comedy Potential: 5 Pre-Civil War Presidents and 1 Member of the Ill-Fated 1969 Chicago Cubs

1. Millard Fillmore: Has there ever been a better name for comedy?
2. Martin Van Buren: Sounds like a spoiled, nerdy rich kid.
3. Adolpho Phillips: If he had been President, the Civil War would never have happened. And the Cubs would have won the World Series.
4. James Buchanan: Use all your gay jokes on our only bachelor President.
5. James K. Polk: Poke, polka, plus that pretentious initial.
6. William Henry Harrison: Gives long inaugural speech, catches pneumonia. dies in 30 days. All that, plus a funny nickname.

List: United States Presidents

Order: Chronological
Words: 5

1. Washington: I Cannot Tell A Lie
2. Adams: Beer Guy Is Cousin Sam
3. Jefferson: Wrote the Declaration of Independence
4. Madison: Wisconsin's Capital and University Town
5. Monroe: Doctrine and Not Much Else
6. John Quincy Adams: One Term, Just Like Dad
7. Andrew Jackson: Always Welcome in My Wallet
8. Martin Van Buren: Not Related To Dear Abby
9. William Henry Harrison: Tippecanoe Caught Cold and Died
10. John Tyler: Two Wives. 15 Kids. Wow.
11. James K Polk: Mexican War Gave Us Land
12. Zachary Taylor: Only Non-Zero Presidential Death.
13. Millard Fillmore: A Do-Nothing Know-Nothing
14. Franklin Pierce: A Buddy of Nathaniel Hawthorne
15. James Buchanan: The Only Bachelor President. Wink.
16. Abraham Lincoln: Tall Bearded Guy Freed Slaves.
17. Andrew Johnson: Escaped Axe By One Vote
18. US Grant: Great General But Lousy President.
19. Rutherford B. Hayes: Husband of Actress Helen Hayes
20. James Garfield: Proved Pythagorean Theorem, Got Shot.
21. Chester Arthur: Stupid-Looking Moustache-Sideburn Combo.
22. Grover Cleveland: I'm On The List Twice!
23. Benjamin Harrison: Served Years Longer Than Grandpa.
24. Grover Cleveland: I'm On The List Twice!
25. William McKinley: His Assassin Had No Vowels.
26. Teddy Roosevelt: Speak Softly. Carry Big Stick.
27. William Howard Taft: Last President With Facial Hair.
28. Woodrow Wilson: World War. League of Nations.
29. William Harding: Teapot Dome Scandal. Died Mysteriously.
30. Calvin Coolige: Silent Cal Didn't Say Much.
31. Herbert Hoover: Blamed for the Great Depression.
32. Franklin Roosevelt: Crippled, But Won World War.
33. Harry Truman: Dropped Bomb, Ended War. Hooray!
34. Dwight Eisenhower: I Liked Ike. Everybody Did.
35. John F. Kennedy: Almost Started World War III.
36. Lyndon Johnson: Compared To Kennedy, Very Dull.
37. Richard Nixon: Why Didn't He Burn Tapes?
38. Gerald Ford: Jump-started Chevy Chase's Career.
39. Jimmy Carter: Holier-Than-Thou Moral Failure.
40. Ronald Reagan: Beat The Russians. That's Enough!
41. George Bush: Our One-Term Resume President.
42. Bill Clinton: Paved The Way For Hillary
43. George W. Bush: Landslide Victory Saved The Nation

List: Presidential Candidates

Order: Random
Words: 3

• Hillary: No, Not Again!!
• Romney: One-Wife Mormon
• Giuliani: New York 9/11
• Obama: Black Quasi-Muslim
• McCain: Ex-POW A**hole
• Fred Thompson: Reaganesque TV Actor
• Tommy Thompson: Labor Hall Bellowing
• John Edwards: Wife's Got Cancer
• Al Gore: Global Warming Magician